I have decided to hold on to ana...but make a valiant effort to slow her down. I do want to continue doing this show...especially if its the only big acting gig i ever get...i'll at least have finished it and be able to own a dvd set with me in it! After that, ana can take over!
-S.rider...your question...what do we love about ana?
It's a hard question to answer under such general terms. I don't really know what everyone loves about ana...but i know what i love about her and i assume that its similar for a lot of people here. See, its not really that i love her, its that i wasn't a real human without her. I think that might be a common factor in a lot of us ana lovers. We love her because we were just empty vessels before her. She makes us strong and resilient. I have a severe anxiety disorder and it is chemical...its in my blood, i worry, way more then the average person. Before ana i was floundering around, no direction, terrified of EVERYTHING. Therapy can make you examine your relationships, your habits, past events...but not an inherent genetic flaw like overwhelming panic. Ana took my panicked self, shook her, told her to toughen up and gave her rules to live by. Yes, they are strict, sometimes deathly rules, but they are rules that make me function and feel good. Being empty takes my anxiety down a notch in a way no SSRI or Valium or therapy could. Running on a treadmill is way fucking better then any upper i've ever had, and the elated feeling i get when i look at the scale and the numbers are lower trump any and all coping mechanism psychotherapists have made me practice over the years. You see people...by throwing us into asylums and hospitals it doesn't save us. It makes you feel better because we have been dealt with...because you don't understand what its like to HAVE to go to such extremes to be able to function, or love yourself. And we all come back to it, because believe it or not, ana is better to us then you are. You want to hide us, ana wants to teach us to live. You want to call us sick and ana calls us strong...no one ever called us strong..but she does. We can be different people with ana....so i guess thats my answer. I hope it made sense. You can ask follow-ups if you want!
-girls, feel free to throw something in if i missed!!! stay in it to win it little ladies :)