Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

The audition on Friday went pretty well. I wound up fucking up and eating before Friday though :( Thursday night I could NOT sleep I was so hungry. I started visualizing how my face would look on camera the next morning if I never fell asleep...all bags and red splotches. At 2am I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of rice cakes...the 30 calorie ones, and ate like 5 of them. I opened the bag with the intention of eating only one, enough to relax my stomach for like 30 minutes so I could pass out, but once salt hit my tongue it was over. Luckily the bag is divided into two mini-bags with 5 crackers in each so I couldn't eat the entire bag. Still, broke the fast and woke up feeling bloated from all the salt ...bah, lesson: tell dad to buy the low sodium rice cakes from now on! Still, a pretty good week eating wise.

Ok, onto the audition. First of all....B was there. For those of you who followed my blog pre-incarceration you know that B is the biggest douche bag ever and likely the reason our show never got picked up. HE'S A TERRIBLE ACTOR (I'm definitey transferring the blame here- little psychology term I picked up in the joint)! For those of you new to the blog, B is an actor I worked with before getting shipped off in the Fall...he thinks every woman on the planet is in love with him and basically that he is god's gift to mankind. So with him sitting behind the casting desk reading with the girls things are looking pretty bleak. I slapped on my "I get along with everyone all the time" smile and greeted him like we were best buds. I gave him a hug (during which he took the liberty of an ass grab) and laughed about that silly show HE tanked. We finaly sat down to read and I though it went pretty well. Well...at least I did pretty well. He did this thing he always does where he scrunches up his nose and squints his eyes when he wants to look like something's really torchering him...HORRIBLE...I sort of wished the camera had been on him so they could see how artificial he is, but alas I do always prefer the camera on moi!

I read once with him then she brought in some older men for me to read with (I so wish I could give you more story details to make it all make sense, but I just can't chance it). I did pretty well and I could tell by watching her that she was invested in making this work. She must have really liked me at that other audition, the one we met during. It's even possible that she wanted me for that part and the director veto'd it. Ok, I'm off my high horse of tangents now :) so once I had read with three different older men, all of whom were actually pretty fabulous, she and I sat down in the room alone. She was super friendly and basically said that I had the part as far as she was concerned, but that her employers had some serious questions they wanted answered before they "got into bed with me"- yes that is literally what she said :)

Then the un-fun part... "How are things coming with the...ahem, eating thing?" UGHHHHH. "Oh that, yeah, that was just this silly thing I got caught up in during the show....I mean the studio was very anti-fat and I let that go to my head....I'm really very comfortable with my body and I don't care about my weight at all.....hahaha, yeah, so silly really..." shake hands....DEAL! Well, not deal yet. I have to meet with the producers first but according to her the director loved me and told the producers to sort it out....in this business that's as good as in! I HAVE WORK!!!

- ladies, thank you sooooo much for your amazing posts! You are all so wonderful. I haven't been a good poster since I've been back, I know. I think I've just been so bored and depressed that I feel like writing about my life will be uneventful and who would want to read this crap...s0 I've been saving blogs for good news. I've made a resolution to blog more frequently though...if time permits of course! YAY WORK!
I hope you guys have a fantastic weekend and just in case you were wondering- I plan on calling J! Well, not today or tomorrow. I mean, its fucking VALENTINES day and I don't want that kind of pressure. But I did promise I would call if I got the part (which actually isn't even official yet) so I shall. Possibly Monday. Any advice on excuses? Like, for why I have yet to call when she called while I was away AND once after I got back....I don't want the eating thing to be an issue right off the bat, but she knows where I was. I'm not sure how to play this and as most of you actually HAVE relationship experiance I'd love some advice!!! I feel like such a tool asking :)