The party went ok. I smiled and was very quiet...only talked if someone asked me something. It was clear right away that J had told some of these women about me. Whatev...that means she likes me right. Ok, so i tried not to make anything obvious at the party...i laughed and talked to J a little, but mingled and didn't stick to her side like an obnoxious brat. I mean, so what if we kissed, its not like i own her. Didn't eat a thing..but i didn't weigh myself this morning because i didn't wake up at my own house!!!! Yup, i stayed...don't worry, it was very secretive and sneaky. When the oscars ended everyone left. It ended at like, 9 because it starts at 5:30 here. So it was just us...and wine...which i drank because i'd eaten nothing and i knew one glass would do the trick! I won't go into detail...not that kinda gal.
This morning i woke up, called a cab and took it to the studio. Got there and dad was already there looking pretty confused. I really need to fucking start remembering to just call and tell him i'll be out. I've felt like such an ass both times now. I suck as a daughter, its totally unfair to him. I told him i drank and decided to stay the night on J's couch. He has no reason to think anything of it...i mean she's a girl.
Got home, decided not to weigh myself till morning, very difficult so far! I want juice..i have this enormous craving for juice...but i think i should refrain. I have swimming scenes on friday and the bathing suit worries me. It's in my contract that i get to approve of any swimsuit or underwear i am to be featured in...but its not like i'm gonna say no to whatever they have. I'll just wear it. So pre work is called for! Fast begins today...it will be comprised of liquids only...like, skim milk, water and diluted orange juice (so i don't get sick before shooting) only.... no diet soda as i do not want to retain water and be bloated in spandex. Ughhh, perhaps by friday i will be, like 107 or something. No...too much to hope for??isit??? oh well. YOu guys are awesome...thank god there's an outlet like this in the world. I just hate the idea of dying and having spent my entire life living in my own head. I love that there is a way to put things out there without anyone ever knowing its you. It's amazing! Hope you all watched the oscars! Fucking Milk and the fucking political agendas. I make a horrible gay person don't i. What's that quote again...i don't wanna be a part of a club that would allow me to be a member...can't remember who said it. If the lesbos want me then the club must suck! HA. ok, now you all think i'm a huge homophob...but how can i be??? i may be a homo! peace out- gotta go not think about food some more. I'm going to sit in my closet for an hour and think about my ass in a bikini....it will be good for me!!! PEACE OUT LADIES :)