Slow Move On

Hey little ladies, so things are sorta back to normal...sort of. Today is my first actual day off in FOREVER so i thought i'd begin it with a little blog, to help get me back on track. I was 112 today...which sucks balls considering, but is still lower then my audition goal weight...and lower then my morning-after-binges weight--114. I have J again tomorrow, thank god...though my last day with her was kind of the day that began all the madness. I don't know what it is about that woman but she just sucker-punches me in the stomach the minute i see her (not literally of course) and its like, i'm out of breath and running to keep up and it probably also doesn't help that i'm physically exhausted the entire time i'm with her because she runs me ragged...but damn. I think i'm gonna ask her to do something. Like...not a date, just go somewhere really casual and hang out...then i cross my fingers and hope she'll do the rest of the work! Bad idea?? I need some tips here ladies...how do you begin an affair with a woman when you A) Have never slept with a woman before and B) are too afraid to let anyone too close because of your obsession with ana. Hmmm, ok....i'm gonna do it though. No matter what, i'm going to ask her to dinner, yes DECIDED!!!! OK, now my stomach is doing somersaults...just from writing it down. Also, if i'm with J all evening there's no way i'll pig out or eat anything crappy...the last thing i'd ever want is for her to see me eat anything other then lettuce. I bet if i was a boy this would be hella easier. Do you ever wish you were a boy??? like for more reasons then just that you wouldn't have to wait for a guy to make the first move. Like, first off...men can lose SOOOO much more weight then women, its just hideously unfair. I remember how my mom would get raving pissed at my dad in the morning when they'd get on the scale and he'd absently spout "hey look, i lost another two pounds...weird, i'm not actually doing anything"- one time, she physically threw the scale at him. It hit him on the arm and i remember he wouldn't make me waffles that morning because he had to ice it and mom kept apologizing and refreshing his ice....the memories that come to you in the midst of a blog..hmmm. Ok, gonna chill out today, take it easy and come up with a really good place to take J tomorrow after the 9 to 5...also will get a head start on next weeks lines!!!! Hope you are all having a marvelous week with tons of weight loss!!!!! I really appreciate all of your wonderful words of encouragement- you guys are the BEST! Stay in it to win it :)