Auditon Day

So yesterday was the big day...the BIG DAY. I don't really know where to start, so i'll begin with the scale because thats how my day started. Remember now that all day Thursday i injested no calories other then IV fluids....so i got on the scale and it read 114...which is my all time low...ever...well, since i was in my early teens!!!!! So it began as a wonderful day! I had a protein bar in the car on the way to the auditions so i would have maximum energy for the audition. We got there and got our studio drive on pass and parked right next to the bungalows that house all of the executive producers. The first Bungalow we went into was, like, a giant, hollow waiting room. There was no one else there though...most likely because this is a high profile show and they are also likely auditioning some names for it, so they'd never make people wait together like they do in cattle calls.  So some lady came in and brought my dad a coffee and me a water and then we waited...like 15 minutes and they brought me into the next bungalow over. It was sort of hollow also, but it had a camera set up and being manned by a guy, a row of men behind tables and clipboards beside the camera. In front of the camera, though, was K.....now, i can say very little about K...her name does not begin with the letter K as J's does....but i feel that anonymity is most crucial at this juncture as K is super famous and I almost passed out seeing her there because i know that we're reading the mother/daughter scene and thus my wonderful powers of deduction....I WAS GONNA GET TO ACT WITH K!!!! Killer!!!! ok, so i got up there, everyone was super nice to me, including K. One of the producers said to go ahead and start whenever i was read, so i took a really deep breath and i started and it rocked. K is a super giving actor....she made great eye contact and every emotional shift i took, she was right there with me. God I hope she's already cast...i mean, she wouldn't have been in there at all if i wasn't already cast, right?? Ok, so when we finished they all clapped and the director was smiling the brightest of all of them, which we all know is a good sign, and then they said thank you and that was it. Can you believe it, no second reading, nothing...ahhhhhh!!!!! My heart was going about  a billion miles a minute but i smiled and said thank you and left. 

So i had only been there an hour right....it wasnt a late audition or anything like that but i couldn't write a blog....everything was way too up in the air and i was freaking out and the uncertainty was KILLING me...so guess what i did....i called J....I'm an idiot. And i told my dad i was going for a run and i had J pick me up at the basketball courts near my house and we went to a diner where i consumed cake....girls CAKE....DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY CALORIES CAKE HAS....goodbye 114 forever. And i did it in front of J....all my willpower, everything i'd been working toward just crumbled and i ate cake including the cream cheese icing and i wanted to die. But while i was eating it, and here is the kicker ladies, while i was eating it i didnt even think about the calories...or notice them. I was fixed on J's eyes and on her voice and, i dunno...it was a trance...a very very very dangerous trance. 

So after the cake J took me home and when i got in the house my dad didnt notice at all that i had no sweat on me....from my supposed run, because he'd gotten a call from the agent...well, and the studio. 

They want me back for a callback...YESSSS!!! So that's the good news. K loved me and found me adorable and the producers like me also...but here comes the bad news. There's someone else up for my role, and that someone is a name someone which i am NOT. We'll call her L. So L apparently read today too, was one of the short listed girls....i guess the entire show has been cast except for this part and they brought in 6 girls today and now its narrowed down to 2...thank GOD i'm one of them. But here's the thing...when i walked into the room with K back at the bungalow...i remember thinking how much we actually did sort of look alike...and i was like, good on you producers for pairing us together...but if K is ACTUALLY already cast as the mother, then it should be me...right? I mean, i know L...you guys, well, some of you, probably know who L is also, and she looks NOTHING like me....or K. Like, completely different coloring...different hair, so what are they thinking. I guess there's always hair dye or extensions but fuck. Ok, the callback is tomorrow, Sunday, and i have to be ready. So i will eat nothing today...NOTHING. I already told dad i was gonna do IV fluids today and he seemed fine with that, so that cake WILL be a thing of the past by tomorrow...it has to be. Oh my god, i don't think i've ever wanted anything this badly before. Please wish me luck and keep all of your fingers and toes crossed tomorrow!!!!! thanks girlies!!!!