Sunday, January 25, 2009


Oh god...i just got home and immediately am writing a post...thats how much i A) Love you guys and know you are all rooting for me...and B) Just need to talk to SOMEONE about all this crappppp!!!!! My dad is sort of the quiet type if you know what i mean. 
Ok....back to today. Scale said 113 this morning...holy SHIT BALLS OF JOY!!!!!! Got off scale sure that it was an omen that things were looking up. The clouds had parted and the sun was peaking through and smiling down on me! I got dressed and ate a power bar so i would be fully with it and got in the car. We got to the studio and got our drive on pass and went to the bungalow same as before, but this time one of the producers met us at our car. He shook my dads hand and put his arm around my shoulders giving them a little squeeze. It was TRES odd! I hate older men...don't know why....but i hate them and unfortunately they totally run this town. We all walked into the bungalow together. Right before we got inside he pulled his arm off my i knew that L must be in there too. Inside the bungalow was a fo-living room set with three cameras on tripods filming different sections of the room. Again, behind the camera's sat the producers...and on a big tall directors chair sat...guess WHO!!! the director.
He saw me and smiled brightly...which i could tell pissed L off. I've me L at a few functions before this and she's not really the nicest girl. I mean...there's no hype about her being a bitch or anything, at least that i've heard and let me tell you, hair and makeup people talk...but, well, she was sort of a bitch today. She didn't smile at me AT ALL....and she also rolled her eyes when K jumped up and hugged me. I LOVE K....and i have to get this part so i can play her daughter and work with someone that amazing every day!!! So the director settled us down and told us the facts...laid it all out for us. He said, yes, we were both up for the same part and that it was definitely just between the two of us now because they have to start shooting in February. He said he was going to have us each do this scene in the living room with our mother and then we were going to transition to a bedroom set and we would be doing another scene...that i had NOT been given ahead of time and was thus def not prepared for, with each other...yes L and I would be doing the scene between the lead and her best friend. I really couldn't imagine anything worse...anything more anxiety provoking. But i tried to forget about it..push it out of my mind at least so i could nail the first scene first. Which i think i did...K and i worked really well together...we just flowed seamlessly and i know she likes me better because i watched her scene with L, i was sure they'd make me leave the room, but they didn't and L watched mine....very unorthodox. But K just seemed to have more fun during our run through. 
After that we were given a couple hours for lunch during which we could look over the sides and get ready for the next scene. My dad and i found a quiet bench outside of one of the dining halls and ran lines the entire time. I did NO beat breakdowns or anything like that...i just HAD to get it memorized. I feel like thats the trick with matter how good you are or how well you have prepared, if you have a script in your hand it looks like your acting. So after the 2 hours we went back and the bungalow set was gone and now there was a single camera and a bed and that was it....empty otherwise. The living room set had been really grand and decorative...but this was literally just a i plopped down and waited for him to tell me who i would be playing first. L got up from her chair by the craft services...she actually ate lunch which made me feel superior for, like, a half a second. The director asked her to read the lead first which freaked me out completely and convinced me that she would be cast. So i sucked it up and did the best i could at the friend...and i thought i did a passable job. Then we switched and i was thinking, here we go...this is break it or make it right now. And the stress and buildup of the moment was really overwhelming and i started to, actual tears came out of my eyes...but instead of freaking out, i just turned to L and said my first line. She looked really shocked, but kept going. And even though my character wasn't freaking out about anything...she was upset at her friend...and the tears helped. Like, they worked really well and when it was over, i quickly smiled and wiped my eyes proudly, a final sell! The director clapped...which he didn't do for L, and my heart was pounding crazy fast. My dad was all smiles so i knew i'd done good. Then the producer...the main one i guess, clapped his hands together and said, ok, thats it for today ladies. We'll be getting back to you shortly. UGHHHHH, MORE FUCKING WAITING. I'M GONNA DIE IF I DON'T KNOW SOON. Doesn't he get that my life is hanging on the brink of his stupid decision? How can they be so cruel? 
ooooh, but before we went to lunch, i did get to watch playback of both our scenes with K....and let me tell you, L did an amazing spot on perfect. And mine was really good, but not quite as polished which freaks me out to no end. But i also noticed how...and i'm not making this up...but L is a little rounder in the rear then I am....and K is super as skinny as me but 15 years older, crazy! plus, like i said before, we sort of have the same look, like...just simple and adorable. And L is GORGEOUS, but not all. She's also got a different bone structure then us. Oh god, what if i am making all of this up to make myself feel better....god, i need to stop breaking all of this down...i do, i just need to STOP!!! Please comment, i need to read good things and be distracted. -by the way, thank you all soooo much for your posts and interest in my life!!! I have NEVER been able to talk or write this freely before. THANK YOU!!!!!! :)


  1. Wow, what an exciting day you have had! I hope you get the part!
    Blogs are a nice place to be able to be open.

  2. That's so crazy! Oh man oh man you know you're gonna get it.

    And solution to munchies: have thoughts that go at a million miles per second and tell you that everything you eat turns to fat and will ruin all your hopes and dreams.

    I only like being high when I don't think//look at food. And when I can pass out when I come down, since when I'm drowsy I automatically want to eat just to stay awake.

    But yeah. I wish I had better advice for that though! Cuz that's what I love about weed... I'm thinking and doing so much that time just slips away and then I pass out. And get shit done.

    I'm just cool like that :]

    P.S. you rock! Let us know once you know!

  3. that is SO so so so so times a million (+1) and how your turned tears to your advantage? wow. so how does this work? is your dad your manager? it seems like you two have a really good relationship...maybe I haven't many that many dads like your's, but he is amazingly supportive of your career. that's really nice and know where I stand when it comes to your success. teeheehee...x

    ps: baklava is uber hard to resist, but hey...gotta think of the thighs right? right. x

  4. It sounds like you kicked major league ass. Way to be!

    I have no doubt this will turn out in your favor, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you nonetheless.

  5. I love reading your blog. I feel like I am at the edge of my seat when I read what you are living your dream and that has to be so exciting. I'm totally rooting for you, and I can't wait to hear the good news!

  6. I hope you get it!!

  7. girl, you have got serious story-tellage-talent in you! i was hooked on your post!